Burden Of Knowing
by XX-Samantha-XX
Summary: He's managed to gain the trust of his new agent on the job but when his new agent seems to have a problem and won't talk to him tempers fly and there's a case that needs solving. AU. Pre-Series. Friendship.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: characters are not mine...booooo..._

_Summary: He's managed to gain the trust of his new agent on the job but when his new agent seems to have a problem and won't talk to him tempers fly and there's a case that needs solving._

_Set pre-season, enjoy. Mainly friendship with some angst and mystery thrown in just for fun. May have a little hurt/comfort in there too. _

**Burden Of K****nowing**

Some people liked knowing what was happening, to see what could be done if it were to all go wrong.

Some people preferred to leave it a mystery, to let nature take its course.

However, there was a third category this time.

The ones that didn't necessarily want to know when it came to bad news, but didn't have a choice.

The ones that _had_ to be told so that they could do their jobs properly, but being the one that spent the most time with those involved, needed to know.

Laura fell into the third.

Each and every time she stepped through the doors to start a job that meant the world to her, it twisted and tore at her heart that little bit more.

Especially with some patient's; ones where the family were kind and genuine, ones that didn't deserve what they had been handed. The ones you really got to know, the ones you would do anything you could to try and make the whole thing easier.

It was one of the hardest things she had to do and wouldn't wish it upon even the worst family or person.

It was the power of knowing too much but being able to do too little about it bar make the person in question as comfortable as possible.

So when she crept into the room, to find the man she had come to know as Tony fast asleep at the bedside, knowing that he'd been there all night, she gently woke him.

The green eyes before her changed so fast from an innocent hope, to confusion, to pain, she had to briefly look away; it was the waking up every day that tore this person's resolve down, each day they would have to remember why they woke up in the hospital in the first place.

Any questions the man could have asked had been answered in the past two weeks they'd been in this position.

_It's just a matter of time._

_There is nothing more that could be done._

Both sentences she knew the tall, brown haired man had heard from both her and the doctors.

Words that everyone hated to hear.

In a few moments she knew that Tony would head for work, having told no one dear enough to him to talk about it too, mask firmly in place and she hated the ease he did it with but didn't question his own coping mechanism. It didn't stop her trying though as guilt flashed through emerald green, as it did each time he left the room, worried that the person currently occupying it wouldn't be there by the time he got back.

"Is there nobody at all you can tell?" The silent hope Laura held behind her own professionalism.

"I don't want to bother them." Was the typical answer she got and she wasn't proven wrong this time.

But this time she noticed a crack in his mask and a profound sadness peaked through. As if _he_ thought that they wouldn't care.

Sadly, having said all she dared, all she could do was watch him walk stiffly away; the hospital chairs weren't meant for sleeping in.

x-X-x

Tony walked out of the hospital slowly, all motion automatic; the nurse had a point.

Maybe he should tell someone what was happening.

Maybe it would make what was to come a little easier.

Not that the hospital staff hadn't helped him as much as they could. They had done a lot, even small actions made all the difference, even down to a friendly mug of coffee or tea when he'd sat by the bed for hours at a time to offering information about anything he would ask. He could tell, even if they didn't show it, that it was affecting the staff too. He would do something nice for them all when the time came.

But he couldn't help the little voice in his mind telling him that his problems were his own to bear. That he shouldn't trouble anyone else because he wasn't worth their time anyway.

He made his way to work on little sleep and knowing that he was going to be late; but dragged out a bright, shining smile anyway.

Ready to face the day.

x-X-x

"DiNozzo, you're late!" Gibbs growled as Tony entered the bull-pen.

"Sorry Boss won't happen again." Tony started launching into a flirtatious story about a new neighbour who had moved in, but stop when a death glare was sent his way.

Gibbs was annoyed at his new Agent, this was the third time in the last week or so that the younger man had been late, and he was obviously not sleeping so well from the bags under his eyes. There was something wrong with his newest Agent but said Agent was being stubborn and not saying anything that mattered.

Sure the Agent spoke a lot but it was about meaningless things, things that didn't matter. Just chatter, to deflect and distract anyone not willing enough to not look closer.

It would almost work as well had Ducky, Abby and most annoyingly had he not become attached to Tony over the past couple of months of working with him. There was something about their new Agent that screamed out to belong.

Not that they'd tell him that they knew.

Oh, he'd tried not to get involved with people under him or working with him as that could only spell out more pain in the future but each of the people working with him had somehow managed to work their way into his heart, not that he would admit that of course.

Most importantly though, he could trust all of them with his life.

He knew that Tony had his six in the field, and he didn't doubt that Tony knew that Gibbs had his back as well, but there was one problem.

Anything other than work, he knew that Tony wasn't forthcoming in the slightest. The man was about as stubborn as Gibbs himself on that account.

But he was going to figure out his new Agent, no matter what.

However, unfortunately, his concern about his Agent would have to wait.

There was a case to be solved.

_TBC_

_This is a less torture focused one but please enjoy all the same, still angsty in parts though it won't be a really long one either, and mainly friendship between the characters...Enjoy!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Dinozzo! Will you get off your damn phone and get to work!" Gibbs barked ten minutes after Tony's phone had rung and about thirty minutes after arriving at the crime scene.

Tony was meant to be interviewing the neighbours, not taking personal phone calls.

Gibbs ignored the glare sent his direction and the hushed tones of his Agent as said agent did what he was told. There was no time for Tony to be slacking when there was a murder to be solved.

"Did you get _anything_ before you took your phone call?" His tone was scolding.

"Actually, Gibbs, I did. Turns out the neighbours heard an argument at around 11pm a few nights ago, a car pulled up and the petty officers husband got in, then when the newspapers starting piling up a neighbour became concerned, looked through a window and saw someone lying on the floor, that's when they called the police." Tony's response didn't waver and he smiled somewhat proudly at the information he had gathered, but the look in his eyes told Gibbs that maybe he shouldn't have scolded the younger man quite so harshly and that Tony's heart wasn't really in to the smile.

"Anyone see anyone lingering or the licence plate?"

"No, nothing."

The rest of the crime scene was processed in silence, Gibbs collecting evidence and Tony taking photos and sketches.

This was something Ducky noticed as soon as he stepped into the room they were processing and it was unnerving. There wasn't any tension, but the air around his two friends wasn't right.

"Is there something wrong gentlemen?" Ducky asked curiously.

"No, everything's fine, Ducky." However, even for Tony, the answer was too quick and the smile too easy.

"You mean apart from the dead body, and you being late, Duck." Gibbs bit out.

"Ahh, Jethro, Gerald got us lost again and of course, let's have a look at the unfortunate petty officer then." There was something wrong alright Ducky thought as he moved over to the body lying on its stomach. Gerald rolled his eyes behind Ducky but got to work.

Tony walked carefully around the room and the rest of the house, the husband's clothes were gone but nothing else was missing. In the main bedroom, pictures of the happy couple on their wedding day were scattered around, pictures from holidays, and lots more.

On the face of it, they looked like an ordinary couple. He silently wondered what had gone wrong that meant one was now dead.

The hairbrush on the dresser by the bedside held a few stray hairs, the same colour as the victims, a light mousey brown. Nothing looked like it shouldn't belong so after looking around more thoroughly he left the room and started looking elsewhere.

There was something so wrong about this crime, sure he'd seen it more times than he could care to count but his gut twisted at what this looked like. Surely the husband wouldn't have done it, would he? Tony looked around the rest of the stifling room as quick and thoroughly as possible and moved on to the rest.

Nothing else out of the ordinary was found, it was a pretty standard household, well apart from the dead body in the other room of course.

Tony had been trying to contact the husband but with no results as of yet; it was with a heavy heart that he approached Gibbs to tell him what they had found out so far, hoping that Gibbs' mood had improved somewhat.

x-X-x

"What do you mean you can't contact him?" Tony sighed inwardly; Gibbs was in his face again. It seemed that Gibbs' mood hadn't improved on the way back to headquarters

"I've tried all morning boss, nothing."

"Well then try harder." Gibbs' eyes sparked, daring Tony to argue, however, Tony was getting tired of being in Gibbs' line of fire all day.

"If you think you can do better, you do it." Tony's tone was a step too close to defiance, Gibbs' eyes flared hotter.

All was silent for a moment as the two men glared at each other, neither budging.

"Get out."

Not even a sound was heard on the entire floor, no typing of keys on keyboards, no background chatter.

Just absolute silence.

Only breeched when Tony moved around his desk, took his bag and left the floor, deciding on the way that the elevator would take far too long to get him away from Gibbs.

Looking at all the surrounding shocked agents Gibbs ordered them all back to work and decided to do the work Tony was obviously incapable of doing, not caring how much his gut was screaming at him that this was all wrong.

_TBC_

_I know its short but it felt like the place to stop, hehe i did say that tempers would fly, sorry for the long wait and please read and enjoy._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

He guessed that he should have gone home, but he couldn't face it. He also guessed he really shouldn't have turned his phone off, never be unreachable, he'd learned _that_ rule early on but he'd been mad at Gibbs.

He got that Gibbs was mad; someone had just been killed and to anyone looking in it would look like he was not doing his job to his full abilities, but damn it! He had tried to find the husband, and hadn't made even one personal phone call.

It just looked like the guy had disappeared. Some dark part of his mind wanted Gibbs to fail in his search just for spite and so it would prove that he was working. But really, what would that solve? Really it would only annoy Gibbs more, but that wasn't his fault. No matter what Gibbs threw at him making him feel like it was his fault and his alone.

It wasn't.

He took his phone out of his pocket and stared at the lump of technology, it was cold an dead in his hand, he itched to turn it on, ring Gibbs and apologise for how he'd acted and how he'd left the office, but he couldn't face the thought that Gibbs would tell him to pack his things up and leave and Gibbs didn't like apologies anyway. No, this was the best thing he'd done in a long while, working for NCIS; he could see it actually lasting as long as he didn't mess that up of course.

Hell, Gibbs had taken a chance with him when he'd offered him the job, which is more than he thought he deserved at the moment. He'd willingly go with Gibbs to hell and back because he knew that in the field Gibbs had his six.

But he suspected that was half the problem, Gibbs knew that he knew he had his six in the field but didn't trust him with anything else. And Gibbs didn't like not knowing something.

The only thing was though; even he didn't want to deal with his personal life the way it was at the moment. That thought forced him to look up.

It was like staring at an abyss, killing your hope as you moved towards it. The cooling wind whipping around him told him he'd just been standing contemplating for a long while, not wanting to step closer.

Its brightness burned away at his retina, distorting his vision momentarily.

He wanted to run, run and never have to come back, never have to keep going and returning, leaving little tiny pieces of his soul by her bedside.

His hands trembled with anger? The phone ended up shattered on the floor with the force that he'd thrown it.

It was unfair, all of it was; she'd done nothing to anyone in her entire life. He'd give himself up in her place if he could, but he'd already done the bargaining stage. He knew it was impossible. Though it didn't make the inevitable hurt any less.

His steps grew heavier as he entered the too bright winding hospital corridors; he navigated the maze on auto pilot and collapsed onto the ever present chair in her room.

Gibbs and work could wait seen as he'd been told to get out anyway. It wasn't that he didn't care about the case, he did, but this was important as well. Maybe away from work then he could connect some things that hadn't been connecting before about the case.

Just like the other times he'd stepped foot in here he willed her to move, to smile, do something, even though he knew it wasn't possible.

He gently grabbed her hand and whispered the same words to her that he did every night he came.

And every time he swore she would smile at them, he didn't care that it wasn't possible.

x-X-x

Gibbs' gut rolled.

_You__'re really living up to your name now, does that make you happy?_

His inner voice was tearing him a new one, and rightly so it seemed. He'd now spent the same amount of time Tony had looking for the missing husband and had come up with the same results. Okay, so he had been harsh but Gibbs didn't do feeling guilty and that didn't let Tony off the hook completely, there were still the phone calls and the coming to work late.

Abby, when she had come up earlier in the afternoon had told him to give Tony the benefit of the doubt with that though.

Gibbs sighed and took a swig of coffee, he couldn't do this case on his own and he knew he'd been out of line telling the kid to get out, for all he knew Tony may have thought he was firing him. He, Abby and Ducky all knew that the front the kid put out was hiding the real him and something told them that not all of the former detective's past was particularly good and something or someone had pretty much destroyed his real confidence, not that he didn't put on a good show though. When he'd hired Tony he'd promised himself that he wouldn't be as bad as Tony's former boss'.

Guilt reared its ugly head again and he knew what he needed to do.

He would go talk to Tony.

Working out what he would say while heading to the elevator he hoped that Tony hadn't run a mile and was still in D.C.

_You better hope he is, he needs you more than you think._

Getting to the parking garage he tried not to listen to the voice in his head, at least he was going to find Tony now but it wasn't letting up on him.

Maybe the situation was worse than he thought.

Driving with speed out of the parking garage he didn't notice Tony's car still parked in it's usual spot.

It took about twenty minutes to arrive at his Agent's apartment block, in which time he was fairly sure of what he was going to say. God, he hated being so unsure, he wanted to blame Tony for it but he didn't think that was going to help anything.

He knocked hard on the door of the apartment so that if Tony was asleep he could be heard.

After a minute with no answer he was getting impatient so knocked again. Another few minutes passed and there was still no answer, his patience was wearing thin now, he'd come over to try and make things right, not wait at DiNozzo's door all night.

Stomping back down the corridor he pulled out his cell and dialled the number for his Agent.

Nothing, not even the voice mail. He tried DiNozzo's home line but got nothing, it was as if Tony was purposefully ignoring him.

His blood started to boil like it had earlier in the day and he started to ignore common sense. There were only a few reasons that anyone would ignore Gibbs and he didn't like any of them.

Gibbs seethed and returned to headquarters, he would get his answers tomorrow if Tony knew what was good for him.

TBC

_Ahh damn, i think Gibbs has got to wrong idea and isn't thinking clearly.__ I know nothing much happened in this chapter and it wasn't that good but there has to be an interlude somewhere, right? Tony is in for it if he sets foot in the building the next day. What are we going to do with our boys. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for the wait, here is the next chapter, enjoy!_

**Chapter 4 **

_The gentle music sung out in the warm glow of his apartment, his new place now felt completely like home, there was only one thing missing. _

_His apartment door opening made him turn around._

_The person standing at the door made a playful smile appear on his face._

"_You're late." His warm voice teased and he turned away to light a candle._

_She laughed, "Says the man who forgets to come home at night."_

"_That's different." _

"_Is not."_

"_Is too." _

_They both laughed heartily, this was a common occurrence, as was the way he wrapped her in his arms, never wanting to let go._

"_Missed you." He whispered against her soft hair._

Every time.

Every time, he woke up at the same point. Never knowing why that particular memory wanted to play around in his mind. It was the best he had, but also the worst.

Sighing, he looked around at where he was, he wasn't surprised to find that he was in the hospital. However this time he was interrupted by a Doctor entering the room.

"I need more time." Tony stated simply, he had nothing else to say to the man that would give up on her.

"Mr DiNozzo, I'm sorry, but what you are trying to do isn't going to help."

"How would you know, you don't know her." Tony was standing now, ready to fight. But the fight left him as soon as he saw the look on the Doctors face. "You have the test results back." And even though they wouldn't have come to anything he still didn't want to hear the answer. If he didn't maybe there was a chance.

"The only thing keeping your fiancé alive now is the machines."

Maybe it was the word that linked her to him that made him run, maybe it was that these tests were his last hope and they had failed him, but whichever it was the only thing he could thinking of doing was returning to work. Damn the consequences, even if Gibbs threw him out, he had to at least try.

x-X-x

Finding his Agent asleep on his desk both worried and angered him. Though he wasn't going to give the kid a break, not until he explained himself.

The head slap was a little harder than usual and it shocked the younger man awake so suddenly that Gibbs almost regretted doing it. _Almost. _He ignored the red bloodshot eyes and obvious signs of exhaustion and went in for the kill.

"There a reason I couldn't get hold of you last night?"

Never one to back down on anything, Tony responded as jovially as he dared and had the energy for.

"My cell phone is broken."

"And your home phone?" Gibbs' anger was rising again; he wanted an answer and wanted it soon.

"I had somewhere else to be." He knew that it had been the wrong answer but Tony's own emotions simmered beneath the surface; he really didn't have the energy to fight back, not after what he'd been told last night...or was it earlier this morning?

"More important than the case?" Gibbs demanded.

"Speaking of the case, while I was here this morning I set up a programme with Abby to alert us if any of the Husband's cards were used." Tony changed the subject. "Oh, and it looks like we just got a hit."

Gibbs seethed. "This isn't over."

They both grabbed their gear and left the bull pen.

The journey to their destination was spent in silence and Gibbs driving like a man possessed.

To say that both Agents were angry would be a major understatement.

As it turns out, it was a dead end following the card, a kid had used it and the shop keeper couldn't give a good description of the kid.

Tensions rose even more when they returned to NCIS head quarters and the BOLO that they had set up hadn't come back with anything. Abby hadn't found any distinguishing evidence either. The case was turner cold quicker than Gibbs' and Tony's partnership.

Tony had disappeared with Abby when lunch came around.

So when Tony's desk phone rung Gibbs was tempted to answer it, just to see if he could find the reason his Agent was so distracted. He was just about to get up when the answer phone picked up.

"This is Dr Perri from Georgetown University Hospital calling for Anthony DiNozzo, when you get this give me a call back."

Gibbs frowned, what the hell was going on here that his Agent didn't want him to know about?

The elevator dinged and the Agent on his mind stepped out.

_TBC_

_I know another cliff-hanger... but he's not in danger this time at least... thanks for reading and please review._


	5. Chapter 5

_Well, __I think a couple of people have been waiting for the Tony and Gibbs conversation so here we go, lemme know what ya'll think. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 5**

Tony was a little happier after his lunch with Abby, they had chatted about anything and everything as they usually would. Abby had no expectations of him to share everything; she knew that if he didn't want to talk then he wouldn't. Usually he would end up telling Abby anyway but this time he couldn't.

So when he stepped out of the elevator he knew that he's day had gone from worse, to good and straight back to worse again. He saw Gibbs half way towards his desk, a look of determination on his face, and heard the last bit of a message left for him by the Doctor he had spoken not just this morning. He sighed deeply, and massaged his temples to ward away an oncoming headache.

This was not going to be fun and he wished for the floor to just swallow him up. Why had he given the Doctor his work number of all things...oh yeah, he'd broken his phone in anger. Releasing a breath he tried to get his frayed emotions under control. He was nowhere near ready to tell anyone, but it didn't look like he had a choice in the matter. He walked slowly to face his doom.

Well, at least Gibbs had the grace to look at least a little ashamed of his actions.

When the shock was over, Gibbs' face changed to a strange mix of concerned anger.

"Want to tell me why a doctor is calling for you."

Tony tried to find the words but they failed to form on his tongue. Why did Gibbs have to be so pushy when came to things he didn't know about his Agents. Tony had been silent for too long when Gibbs had expected an answer and now Gibbs was in his face once more. Tony wanted to physically push him away, run, and not look back but found himself stuck to the spot. And he knew that it wouldn't help anything.

"Are you sick?" Gibbs forced out past his own feelings of confusion, he didn't want the younger man to confirm his newly found fears. How dare the young Agent make him feel feelings that he hadn't felt in such a long time. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he almost didn't hear the answer.

"No, I'm not, so you'll be happy to know that I can still do my job." The tone was bitter and Tony didn't know why he'd even said it. The slight bit of hurt in Gibbs' eyes was hard to see and he felt like a jerk for saying it like he had. He needed Gibbs and didn't want to alienate the person that had given him a chance at a job he could come to love, and the only person in a long time that actually seemed to believe in him and what he could offer to a team.

He turned to move away from Gibbs, only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.

It wasn't a harsh grip either, it was...supportive?

They both seemed shocked by Gibbs' action and stood for a moment trying to think of what to say next.

Tony had thought that he'd be asked to leave over how he'd just spoken to Gibbs and was uncomfortable with this new situation. He did actually know that Gibbs cared in his own way but it was all new to him and he didn't know where he stood in it all.

At first, Gibbs wasn't sure why he'd stopped the kid from leaving, but he'd seen something familiar in the younger man's eyes at the mention of the Doctor. He also knew that Tony hadn't meant what he had said the why he had said it; he knew that it was also and defence, a way of pushing people away. He'd used it enough times before to recognise it anywhere.

"That's not why I asked and you know it." Gibbs spoke evenly.

And Tony did, but he still didn't know what to say. So he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"They want me to decide whether I should turn her life support machine off."

There, he had said it now, there was no going back. He moved towards his desk after shrugging Gibbs' hand off. He sat heavily down in his seat and stared at his hands, not knowing what else to do.

Gibbs' hand hung in mid-air; he hadn't thought it would be that bad. Tony had still been coming into work and acting like nothing was happening. He wondered how long this had been happening and Tony had taken all Gibb' comments and said nothing to anyone about them. Gibbs felt sick at how he'd been treating his Agent. Maybe he should of asked first when he'd first noticed something was wrong and not just started shouting at his new Agent. He had to fix this, even though he didn't know how.

Gibbs returned to his desk, grabbed his chair and pushed it over towards Tony's desk. The case could wait for a little while, it wasn't like they were getting anywhere with it.

Tony looked up from his hands and saw his boss sat beside him, his boss' gaze letting him know that he could speak if he wanted. Tony didn't want to seem weak but he also knew that maybe he needed a little help with this after all.

"Who's machine, Tony." Gibbs cursed quietly to himself, he was going to let Tony talk at his own time but his question slipped out. Pained green eyes looked at him and voice matching the face wavered ever so slightly.

"Elise's." Then Tony looked away, but Gibbs didn't miss the bleak look in his eyes.

"She a girlfriend?" Tony wasn't sure if he wanted to answer that but he knew that he needed to now, there was no point denying the fact that she had been more than just a girlfriend; that would just tarnish the whole thing.

And it was the only thing he'd had that was stable for a long time. So Tony shook his head slightly and practically had to force the next answer out, it hurt to say it, it would make it too real, too hard to come to terms with when it all ended.

When Tony shook his head, Gibbs hoped that Tony wasn't about to say the one thing he knew he might not be able to help the Agent with.

"She's my fiancée." Tony's voice was so soft that Gibbs almost missed it.

Hell, it was worse than he feared, they hadn't even gotten married yet and it was over. Gibbs cursed his need to know and cursed that he didn't know how to comfort. He'd offered Tony a chance to talk about what was bothering him and Gibbs hated that he didn't know what to do with the information now that he knew.

Tony looked at him with a sadness that he knew all too well and asked a question Gibbs knew he didn't know how to answer.

"What do I do, Gibbs?"

TBC

_Evil cliffy again I know, but the boys are talking now, that's something...right? _


	6. Chapter 6

_I couldn't leave you all too long without the next chapter so here it is, enjoy!__ We will get back to the case soon but I thought this was needed more, but that doesn't mean that tempers can't still fly hehe. Something i keep listening too while writing this story is Christina Perri's 'The Lonely' it's a really good song hehe...I think it fits the storyline.._

**Chapter 6**

"_What do I do, Gibbs?" _

That was the question.

And the answer wasn't very forthcoming in Gibbs' mind. Not when he was faced with all the hope of his Agent. He couldn't have imagined being given the choice when it had been Shannon or Kelly. But then if it had already come to the point where life support was a necessity then there wasn't much of a choice anyway. It was purely on Tony's shoulders though Gibbs could understand him not wanting to let go.

A slight shift in Tony's eyes alerted Gibbs that he was going to shut him out again if he didn't speak soon. It wasn't that he didn't want to answer the question, it was just he didn't know what to say that would help anything.

Taking a massive risk, he went with the truth. He placed his hand on Tony's arm and conveyed all the reassurance he could muster in the world.

"I don't know, Tony, that's a decision that only you can make, but I will support you no matter what."

When Tony didn't respond in any kind of a way, not by blinking, not by moving his hands like he had been doing and not by a shift in his expression, Gibbs thought he'd said the wrong thing.

For a moment Tony thought he could see the same pain in his eyes as he felt and made note of it. Faced with the situation as it was now, he was confused, he hadn't expected Gibbs to offer to help let alone be so completely honest with him, not that he thought Gibbs was a liar.

Gibbs hadn't offered any empty platitudes nor advice but Tony found that he was comforted by what Gibbs _had_ said, his look having said more than his words. He hadn't expected Gibbs to want to help though, it wasn't like it was Gibbs' problem, and he had no idea what to do now help had been offered.

To watch his usually energetic and confident Agent go from a blank expression to looking so damned unsure was disturbing and Gibbs wondered if something more than just a need to belong was happening in the mind of his Agent.

"Thanks, Gibbs." Tony's voice was soft but to Gibbs still held a tint of uncertainty.

Gibbs nodded and removed his hands from Tony's arm, knowing that anything more than what had already offered would make Tony run a mile. The kid didn't know how to handle kindness well and Gibbs had been surprised he'd been allowed this close.

"Is there any chance at all?" Gibbs asked, hoping the answer would be a good one.

Tony knew what Gibbs was asking but he didn't know if he could tell him the answer and still have hope. He sighed heavily.

"There never was." Maybe he was finally moving toward acceptance but it was still hard to say, he still wanted to believe she was a fighter.

They both jumped when Gibbs' phone screamed out to be heard. Gibbs was up on his feet in an instant and moved towards his desk, but not before he gave Tony's shoulder a quick squeeze in sign of support.

Tony wasn't sure of what to expect now...he needed a distraction from all this, he couldn't talk to the doctor, not yet. He looked up hopefully towards Gibbs, maybe the phone call was about the case. He waited with baited breath until Gibbs placed the phone back down.

"The husband has just been spotted." But Gibbs looked torn, that is what Tony didn't want. He could still do his damn job, he needed his job.

"Then let's go, her family needs answers." Tony didn't have to force the look of determination on to his face. His problems could wait. It wasn't like anything was going to happen without his say so anyway, the doctor wouldn't do anything without getting his permission.

Gibbs nodded sharply and was proud of his Agent, but also worried that his determination to help everyone else meant that he thought he wasn't worth the same amount of help. Gibbs vowed to change that if he could, just as soon as this case was over.

Grabbing their gear they left the bull pen and headed to the parking garage.

On the way to the scene both Ducky and Abby had called to update them on anything they had found to help find the killer.

After hours of searching evidence, Abby had found a partial print on glass that had been found in the room of the victim. Though the print had been proved useless as the identifying markers of the print were smudged.

Ducky had reported the cause of death as strangulation but found no trace evidence on the body of something being used, therefore, with the shaping of the bruising and the pattern had concluded that it had been done by hand; male hands by the size of them.

That information, with the fact that the husband's clothes being gone and that an argument had been heard pointed towards the husband having done it.

This was going to be a tough one for both Agents.

Gibbs hated the brief looked of sadness and shock in Tony's eyes when all the information had been heard on the way to the area where the man had been spotted. Then Gibbs saw a slowly boiling anger start and hoped that the man in question wouldn't provoke Tony into doing something that could get him in trouble.

TBC

_Well i hope you all liked that, I know its short but it felt right ending it there so i can build up suspense hehehe, is that evil? As always thanks for reading a please review. _


	7. Chapter 7

_I know I've been naughty and not updated, sorry, the new ward has been very interesting, I have been able to go to theatres and watch some surgery, it's really interesting. And I have been able to see people go home all healthy, it's a very good feeling that I've helped even just a little. Anyway, on with the story. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 7**

"He might not have done it." Though Tony didn't know who he was trying to convince.

Gibbs tried to take stock of his Agent while keeping his eyes on the road, but found that Tony had shut himself off. And Gibbs didn't think that it was a good thing, not at all.

Gibbs stayed silent, conveying what he thought clearly through a single look.

"But you don't believe in consequences." And Tony's voice showed the first bit of emotion Gibbs had heard since they had left the office. Dejection. But then, deep down, he couldn't say that he didn't feel the same.

"Why would anyone do that, boss?"

But before Gibbs could answer they were at their destination. Looking at where they found themselves, they wondered in abject shock at the surroundings.

Tall trees bordered the road, only splitting where driveways were. White fences stood around perfectly mowed lawns, houses bright with light paint and sounds of innocence. The shining sun was making everything far too dazzling for the Agents leaving the car. It was as if the picturesque scene was there to torment them, shoved harshly into their faces, poring salt on wounds that hadn't healed.

Tony's heart tore at what could have been and Gibbs' tore at what had been, but could never be again.

Just what the hell was happening here?

They both checked the address again before continuing and only stopped when they saw the man in question walk out of the door of the address they'd been given.

A smiling women kissed the man, a child clung to his leg, not wanting him to go away. Needing him to stay. They watched in wonder at this new information.

Did he have a second life? Is this where he went when the neighbours had seen him leave? Had he actually loved the women who had been so brutally murdered with this man's own hands? Or had he just witnessed it and ran here because there was innocence here?

Children laughed and ran between the tall trees, some riding bikes or kicking a ball around, completely unaware of how cruel the world could be. Both Agents could only hope that the man in question wouldn't resist, would just come quietly so they didn't have to destroy childrens' security and safety

And when the man looked at them they knew that he wasn't going to come quietly.

A bitter breeze rolled in momentarily and both Agents knew that everything was about to go to hell. Both agents tensed, ready to do what was needed. But surprise had made their reactions slower than normal.

As soon as the child and women had gone back into the house, he stood still, waiting for them to get closer, letting them think that he was going to come quietly. A look of serenity which matched the atmosphere, upon his face.

And they believed it because they didn't think that a family man would do anything in front of children. Not with what looked like his own child just behind a closed door.

Having seen all kinds of horrid things couldn't stop them from wanting to believe that he wouldn't do anything. But taking the time to think about it would prove to be their worst mistake to date.

Shots of a gun shattered the mid-afternoon calm.

Birds flew scared out of trees.

Dogs barked and young children, who had been running around carefree, screamed in terror.

When everything had settled down all was silent.

Splinters of wood lay across the once unblemished varnished floor boards of the porch. Blood splattered the flagstones and grass of the front garden. The Agency car was scattered with holes from weapons fire.

Gibbs didn't remember falling to the ground or ducking so when he could see what was happening through the haze he was surprised by what he saw.

The husband had a gun pointed to his own head, a tired and pale looking Tony was struggling to keep said weapon away from the man's head. Gibbs didn't know what to say, or what had exactly happened. When the buzz in his ears had gone was when he picked up the conversation that the two men were having in front of him.

"Don't do it." Tony's voice was firm.

"I'll only go to prison anyway!" The man screamed.

"Why did you do it?" Tony's voice seemed to waver and Gibbs tried to get a closer look at his Agent. Something wasn't right.

"It was an accident, I didn't mean to kill her, I loved her!"

Before Tony could give the guy a piece of his mind he heard a child scream from the door way of the house.

"Daddy!" Tears were running down the little girls face, her eyes red from crying.

That was when Gibbs stepped in and ripped the gun out of the man's hands, dragged him up and away from the house and deposited him in the back of their car.

When the prisoner was secure in the car, Gibbs went back over to his Agent. The girl that had run out crying had been taken back inside by who he guessed to be her mother and they both watched from the window. This was going to be a nightmare.

Stepping up to his Agent, he realised that most of Tony's body had been facing away from him the whole time. So when he got closer, the pale features and shocked eyes weren't the only things he saw.

x-X-x

Tony's mind was fuzzy, one moment the bad guy had been under him, gun pointed at his own head in front of his own house by the looks of it then the girl had come out and his position had changed in a split second. Now he was looking at his own bloody hands wondering what was going on.

Someone touched his shoulder and he jumped. Gibbs was suddenly beside him looking...Scared?

Gibbs never got scared. What had happened to scare him so much?

"You okay, boss?" Though Tony couldn't for the life of him figure out what had just happened or why his mind was so foggy. He saw Gibbs say something but couldn't hear the words.

Then Gibbs shook him a little and the ringing in his ears that had appeared died down to a low hum.

"Tony?" Tony heard him but had trouble really focusing on him.

x-X-x

The arm that Gibbs hadn't been able to see from his previous angle hung limply at the younger man's side, blood trickled downwards towards the wrists and dripped off Tony's fingers.

"Tony? What happened?" But Gibbs knew that Tony hadn't heard him. His last resort was to shake him after calling for some backup.

He needed to look after his Agent now.

"Tony?" Gibbs at least could see that Tony had heard him but he could also see that it was with great effort that the younger man could even look momentarily at him. The younger man was in shock and Gibbs knew he had to do something before the ambulances got here.

"Tony." Gibbs' voice was firm and got a small response. "What happened?" He asked as he covered Tony with his jacket and placed his hand on the wound to create some kind of pressure to stop the blood. If he kept him focused then maybe he'd shake himself out of it.

"I couldn't let you get hurt because of my mistake, I let my guard down." Tony's voice was small and almost scared, as if Gibbs was going to yell at him.

Gibbs couldn't follow for a moment until he realised that he hadn't been hurt because he'd ended up on the ground. Tony must have pushed him out of harm's way and been hurt instead. And Gibbs was damned if he was going to let the kid take the blame for it completely. They had both made the same mistake but Gibbs himself should have known better having dealt with a lot more situations like this than Tony had. Gibbs tapped him lightly on the head and tried to reassure the younger man.

"Hey, I let my guard down too, it wasn't your fault."

But the odd look that Gibbs got in return told him that Tony believe with all his heart that it had been all his fault. And it was going to take Tony a long time to believe it. And not for the first time Gibbs wished that he could meet the people who had made him believe things that just weren't true.

Tony remained awake until the ambulance arrived and all the way to the hospital but without saying a word, or looking at Gibbs.

Gibbs couldn't help but wonder if Tony was hiding something else from him...

**TBC**

_Woo, another chapter, hoped you all liked it. This story doesn't have much left in it but i do actually have a follow on idea kind of hehe i just need to work out the details. Anyway, please review!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

The silence emanating around the bed area that Tony was waiting on was deafening.

Worse than the silence when Tony had left the bull-pen...yesterday?

The only thing worse than the silence...

...was the hopeless look in the younger man's eyes and the way that he wouldn't look him in the eye.

At all.

And the bright shining smile plastered on the man's face just to prove he was fine in front of the medical staff, Gibbs knew that the younger man was known for his undercover work in all the previous departments he'd worked in but he got the impression that he'd been covering what he felt for many more years than that.

And that left Gibbs with a feeling that something was wrong here.

Besides the fact that the kid had a through and through bullet wound in the upper part of his arm, it hadn't hit the bone but it had taken a good chunk of skin out of the younger man's arm.

That small fact combined with the kid saving his life without regard to his own and that he looked like he was still hiding something all conspired to make Gibbs angry beyond words.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed!" Gibbs growled making the younger man finally look up at him.

But the look he had gotten hadn't been the one he was after. He'd been after determination, or even the cocky sureness that he knew the younger man possessed. Anything but what he had gotten.

It was a look to make Gibbs think that Tony was still in some kind of shock.

The smile hadn't faltered, not one bit, it had brightened even and Tony had spoke happily and said that 'no he was not trying to get himself killed; he was _far _too young to die yet.'

It was that the look told him that his newest and most promising Agent to date was quite possibly lying to him.

So he walked out, leaving his Agent, the one thing he said he wouldn't do, not noticing that the younger man had not lied as such but had just been simply using it as a means of protection from a question he had never known the answer to.

x-X-x

When Tony realised that Gibbs was gone, he felt an emptiness return that had started to be filled with his new job and new friends. He knew that he'd been pushing Gibbs away but he didn't actually think that Gibbs would leave.

He was just starting to believe that Gibbs would be there, no matter what. Gibbs had even said that he'd support him.

_So much for that_ he thought bitterly.

The smile he knew would be plastered on his face was the defence he had used for years and was apart of him now, it didn't even need conscious thought in certain situations. Situations where he knew that he wouldn't have control it was an automatic reaction. And the facade only fell when he didn't feel that anyone was around.

But maybe it was better this way. His mind had been fuzzy since the whole shooting earlier in the day and he wasn't at all sure what he had said to Gibbs that had made him walk away but it gave him time to think.

But the emptiness clawed at him, he was still new in this city, only knew a few people, had nothing to go home to...

Pain made itself known on a whole different level and he remembered where he was.

He was in the hospital. The one where she was and the one place he really didn't want to be at the moment.

Moving far faster than his body could handle after losing the amount of blood that he'd lost and the little sleep he'd gotten over the past couple of weeks, his knees buckled and he found himself on the cold hard floor, staring at his hands through blurry eyes.

Utterly alone.

And knowing that it was his own fault.

x-X-x

Had Gibbs looked back even once he may have seen the smile drop from his Agent's face and a loneliness darkening the younger mans eyes.

He was pissed.

Pissed that Tony had lied to him.

Pissed that he had gone back on his word.

His gut was kicking him firmly, telling him that he'd done the worst thing in the world imaginable.

He'd walked away, simply turned around without a second look back at the man he just promised to help, and left.

He'd abandoned the one person that he'd actually been able to work with in a long while.

His mind started to wander on to another thought but got cut off.

"Jethro, how is our young agent?" The smile on Ducky's face dropped with the confused glare he got in return. But when Gibbs wasn't forthcoming with an answer he prompted his friend. "Is there something wrong?"

Gibbs proceeded to tell Ducky what had transpired while waiting with the younger agent. Maybe his anger had clouded his judgement again and he wasn't looking at it right. Surely Tony wasn't going to lie, not from what he's seen of the Agent so far, unless, he had been horribly wrong about him.

But he wasn't willing to accept that, not one bit.

Ducky had managed to keep a straight face during the whole of the story until the last comment.

"You just left the boy?" Ducky's tone was dismayed.

"He lied Duck, what else did you expect me to do?" Gibbs was exhausted by the days' events and knew he sounded childish.

"I don't believe that young Anthony lied as such, more spun a story close enough to the truth and let you believe it was a lie." When Gibbs looked even more confused, Ducky continued. "He did it for protection, he must have figured out that you wouldn't like the whole truth and I can't say I blame the lad from what I have seen of his reckless nature, he doesn't hold much regard for his own wellbeing."

Gibbs sighed guiltily and wondered slightly if he'd been played.

The walk back towards the man he'd left behind was a hard one.

How in the world was he meant to explain his actions now...

TBC

_Oh dear, what aaareeee the boys like, will they ever get it right and wh__at is Tony thinking, where does he think he's going in his condition. Please read and enjoy and maybe review? ...pretty please..._


	9. Chapter 9

_Well, I'm back writing, yay! I do have a holiday coming up but i do intend to write a lot before i sawn off to Greece__ for a week. First Year of university was awesome and is over so i can write to my heart's content and get addicted to Torchwood and House haha Sorry about the long wait for chapters etc bit please enjoy what is to come !_

**Chapter 9 **

Gibbs legs seemed heavy as he took the walk back to his Agent.

He knew that he should have never left Tony's side, but then when did he ever think about his actions before he took them as Ducky had taken the pleasure of telling him. Ducky had also, left him to it, saying that he wanted to find Anthony's Doctor.

So here he was, stepping towards what seemed like his doom, it had been a long while since he'd felt like this with anybody he had worked with. Usually it had been their mistake or their fault but not this time. This time it was all on him.

Taking a deep he took a deep breath and pulled the curtain back...

...only to find the bed empty.

_Damn it!_

_You happy now, you made him run a mile. You'll be lucky if you find him. It'd be your fault if he ends up hurting himself or lying on the floor bleeding to death. You went and abandoned him like you said you wouldn't, like you promised him you wouldn't and you expect his trust! _

Gibbs' mind tortured him with images he'd rather not see, his blood boiled, he swung round and his hand connected with the nearest thing which happened to be a wall. He grimaced in pain but pushed it away as he didn't have the right to feel pain, not after he had just caused so much of it to the man that he had come to enjoy working with and come to see as his own son.

_Damn it!_

He stalked off down to the Nurse's station and growled at them for answers, only for them to tell him that they hadn't seen anything. Gibbs stormed away from them cursing, and these people were meant to look after sick people, but he also knew that if Tony didn't want to be seen, then he wouldn't.

Where would he go? Gibbs thought before continuing for a change, maybe if he thought first before doing things then they wouldn't be in this situation. He'd be by Tony's side when he needed him...wait? He wouldn't would he? Not on his own? Gibbs didn't even know if this was the hospital that she was in but he returned to the Nurse's station anyway and asked.

x-X-x

Tony's body was moving on autopilot, he'd dragged himself up off the floor, dodged all the staff and anyone else who might be lurking around like Ducky or Gibbs, not that he believe that Gibbs would be, but still, better safe than sorry. You never know, Gibbs might have come back to fire him for being incapable of doing the job he had been hired for.

Tony sighed and swayed a little on his unsteady feet, he held himself up for a moment against the wall. He silently hoped that nobody would stop him or even see him in the state he knew he was in, he'd felt the stitches tear a little as he'd tried to get himself up earlier and knew that it was bleeding again.

He wasn't thinking clearly, he knew that, but what else did he have left to do now. He had a decision to make as the Doctor had said the other day.

He stepped through the door quietly, as not to disturb her, not that he could but it was force of habit. It was night time now so there hadn't been many staff to sneak passed and Tony was thankful for that. If the nurses had seen him they'd be worried about him.

Whatever he'd been thinking stopped as soon as he saw her again and he backed up against the wall and slid down it. He drew his long, tired legs into his chest and rested his uninjured arm and chin on his knees, and sat staring at the mechanical rise and fall of Elise's chest. Before he knew it, he'd fallen asleep in the dark corner of the room.

_Music played around the room containing the happy couple, just like it always had when they were together. It was the first thing they did when they got in. __They danced a little and laughed, maybe watched a film later and Tony would always cook a fine Italian meal. _

_Except, this night ended different, usually they'd end up in each other's arms in their bed or on the sofa. _

_Tony knew which night it was a he wanted to wake up. But, his body was conspiring against him this time._

_Half way through the movie they had been watched Tony had noticed something off about Elise. Her lovely green-brown eyes were pained and her hands were holding her head. Tony shuffled around and took her head and hand gently into his own hands._

"_Elise, what's wrong?" His voice was calm for her sake but he was screaming on the inside, he could feel that this wasn't just a headache. "Elise?" Watery eyes looked up at him in confusion._

_And that had just been the beginning._

Tony was awakened by the opening of the door and stayed silent wanting to know who it was that had entered before revealing himself to them.

x-X-x

When he had what he was looking for, Gibbs found his way to her room, it had taken a while but he'd done it and his gut was telling him this was where Tony had gone.

He stepped lightly into the darkened room and only saw what he presumed to be Elise. But, where was Tony?

Then he heard a slight grunt behind him and saw that it was Tony and that he was struggling to get up with just one arm, sweat beading down his face and a slight dark stain on the bandage covering his arm. He moved forward to help him but stopped when Tony spoke.

"Don't."

And Gibbs knew he deserved the venom in that one word. It said more than that, it said you ran when you said you wouldn't, it told him of what he'd done wrong and it told him that it this conversation could be the end of their partnership if Tony wanted it that way. Gibbs looked down unsure of what to do now.

"Why are you here?" Now that Tony was on his feet he felt more secure about what needed to be said.

Gibbs detected a multitude of different emotions in the words; however, one was stronger than all the others if he dared to think he could read it and that it was real.

Hope.

Why that one in particular Gibbs wondered and let it go to see what would happen now, if he guessed he might be wrong and if he was wrong then he'd lose Tony for good.

"I was worried about you." He'd gone with the truth but still Tony's eyes narrowed at him.

"It sure didn't look like it when you left." Tony knew that he'd just let too much be shown than he wanted to be and he tried to walk away. The words had been too desperate and he needed to get away now, before Gibbs could think about it too much.

Again, he was stopped by Gibbs grabbing his arm supportively and he started to become angry at Gibbs. Why did the man contradict himself so much by his own actions? But he still stopped all the same; he really did believe that this could be fixed somehow. It wasn't as if he hadn't given other people second or even third chances.

"Will you make your mind up already?" Tony raged under his breath, obviously trying not to be too loud. But Gibbs had to know that he'd done wrong.

Gibbs' gut reaction had been to headslap the younger man for not believing what he had said first but he'd seen an old hurt within the younger man's words, as if people had abandoned him before, as if it had been someone important, someone who should never abandon you. And he himself had gone and done the same, he felt ten times as guilt now than he had talking about it with Ducky. He'd been so inconsistent the last couple of days, either telling Tony that he would help him or shouting at him, no wonder the kid was confused. He felt like he didn't even deserve the chance to explain himself.

Yet here Tony was, Gibbs had let go of him and Tony was still here looking at him almost expectantly and with that hope he had seen before, like the younger man believed that something good could come of this mess, like he had to believe it lest it destroyed him. As if it was the one thing he clung to.

_You're lucky the boy is still letting you stay here__, he could have ordered you to leave him the hell alone, say something!_ His mind and gut were screaming.

"Tony, I'm sorry, I act before I think most of the time." Well it was better than nothing.

"D'ya Think." Tony winced at his own tone, Gibbs had been trying to explain and he'd gone and done that, he'd gone and sounded disrespectful.

Gibbs ignored that, he deserved more than that and he knew it.

"I shouldn't have abandoned you like that." Gibbs hoped that Tony had noticed the word he knew that the younger man had avoided.

Tony flinched internally at the word, Gibbs hadn't abandoned him, not completely, only for maybe an hour, it hurt sure, but the man was here now trying to make amends. That was the one thing that his father hadn't done. If Gibbs could do that much then maybe he could find out why.

"Then why did you?" And Gibbs knew that Tony had asked that question one too many times for Gibbs to be comfortable with, even if it hadn't been to him.

"I was angry; I thought you had lied to me." Gibbs held his hand up to quieten Tony; the look coming from the younger man told him that he thought that Gibbs was blaming him and he could see the anger swell. "I'm not blaming you but you weren't telling the whole truth either. I asked you if you were trying to get yourself killed and you didn't answer directly."

Tony knew that Gibbs was right but he knew that Gibbs wouldn't like the actual answer any better. "I was trying to save you, Gibbs." The answer was truthful just incomplete.

"It was reckless, Tony, you could have been killed." The kid looked surprised. Gibbs was shocked at what he saw, genuine surprise. Had nobody cared for the man before him at all?

It was then that Tony realised that Gibbs did actually care about him and not just the job he filled, for Gibbs to apologise and take his attitude recently and even search the hospital to find him when he could have left, he couldn't not care. But then he was scared of it all going away as well, like it had so many times before.

Neither man knew when it had happened but some of the tension in the room had gone. Maybe they were finally getting somewhere.

"Do you want me to leave, Tony?" Gibbs needed to know if Tony even wanted to be around him if they were ever to work together again.

Tony knew it was a double edged question; Gibbs was giving him the option to tell him to get lost for good. They both knew they had made mistakes but it didn't seem impossible to fix now that they both knew they could communicate with each other in some way. Tony's strength was fading now so he dropped heavily down into the usual chair next to her bed and put his head in his hands.

Gibbs almost missed the quiet reply.

"You can stay, Boss"

_TBC_

_Awww they had a nice chat, but what is going to happen next? Hope you all liked the longer chapter as i have much more time to write now! Please review as always kind people._


	10. Chapter 10

_Sorry this Chapter is a little later than planned, some idiots decided it would be fun to riot in Manchester City Centre so i was keeping an eye on the news and helping with the clean up seen as i live about 15 minutes walking distance away, good news is that the police seem to have it und__er control at the moment, woo Go Greater Manchester Police service and other services who have also helped out, they have done and are doing an awesome job! Anyway back to the story, enjoy!_

**Chapter 10**

_Gibbs almost missed the quiet reply. _

"_You can stay, Boss"_

Gibbs hadn't missed the boss on the end of that short sentence and smiled a small smile. If their working relationship could be fixed then there was still hope for them both yet. Gibbs didn't doubt that it would take time though.

Tony knew that what he had indirectly said was that he wanted to stay with Gibbs for now, and Gibbs hadn't decided to fire him so there was a least one thing to smile about.

Silence wrapped around the two agents as comfortably as possible and all that could be heard were the machines keeping Elise alive. Gibbs thought for a moment that the younger man had fallen asleep but the younger man shifted a little in his seat, as if by habit. Just how long had his Agent been coming here in the middle of the night and then coming into work with little to no sleep?

"What happened, Tony?" Gibbs asked softly. His own emotions were fraying at the scene before him; he would have hated to see Shannon like Tony was seeing Elise.

Tony sighed; he'd been wondering when Gibbs would ask that exact question. Though, he wasn't quite sure what to say about it, he didn't know much himself.

"They weren't sure to start with; none of the symptoms matched anything exactly enough for them to do anything and by the time they had figured it out the damage had already been done." Tony looked towards Elise for a moment, a deep sadness within his eyes, and then continued telling Gibbs what he could remember from all the medical jargon he had heard. "They said it was some kind of rare amoeba that invades the brain and basically starts eating away at it, she's been on life support for about a week and a half now, and in hospital for about three."

By what Gibbs could hear from Tony's tone he didn't blame the hospital or the doctors at all; he just seemed dejected more than anything. "You could have told me, you know, if you needed time off, everyone would have understood." Gibbs had gone for a soothing voice but it wavered on the 'we', he'd almost said I and hoped that Tony didn't notice. However, it only served to anger Tony a little when the younger man glared at him.

"Yeah, I doubt that." Tony knew he sounded like a teenager being angry at the world but this was _his_ fiancée laying in the bed, practically already dead, not anyone else's.

But Tony looked up at the wrong moment and saw something in Gibbs that extinguished his anger and he softened his expression and hoped that what he had just said wouldn't make Gibbs leave now.

Gibbs looked as if he was going to say something but was interrupted by Nurse Laura entering the room; she looked around and noticed two people in the room.

"This is Gibbs, my boss." Tony replied to Laura's questioning gaze.

"About time you told someone." Laura responded then quickly tried to backtrack. She looked apologetically at Tony but she noticed a small smile on his face and relaxed.

Gibbs had been surprised by the easy visitor/nurse relationship Tony and this nurse seemed to have and smiled himself, at least Tony hadn't been completely alone in here in the middle of the night, thinking about it all the staff on this ward seemed to have been pleasant but not overly so and not seemingly annoyed in general like some hospital staff could be.

"Would you both like some coffee?" Laura asked quietly as not to disturb the sense of calm in the room.

They both nodded and Gibbs told her how he liked his coffee then she disappeared back through the door quietly.

Something was bugging Gibbs though. "Has her family not been to visit?"

"They visit during in the day normally, after work and other things." Gibbs seemed to get the impression that there was some tension in Tony's posture on the mention of family but continued with his questions.

"And yours?" At this Gibbs noticed that Tony was getting fidgety again in the chair and seemed to want to look elsewhere.

"Ah, well, we had a little misunderstanding years ago." It was clear to Gibbs that that was all he was going to get out of Tony on that topic tonight and stopped.

Tony cheered internally when Gibbs didn't continue with _that_ question, he wasn't ready for Gibbs to know about that kind of information yet.

Laura came back in with two mugs of coffee and quietly left the room again after checking over the machines, sensing that the two men in the room were having a somewhat heavy conversation.

"Have you decided what you are going to do yet?" Gibbs asked softly.

Tony sighed and tried to look at Gibbs when he answered but his eyes kept wandering away from Gibbs' blue ones.

"If you were given that kind of choice, what would you do?" Tony knew he'd asked Gibbs what he should do before but couldn't help but ask again, he needed at least a little help with this.

"I don't know, Tony, I wasn't given that choice." Gibbs tried to take the words back but he knew that Tony had heard them and it would have tarnished their names if he had anyway.

Both men stayed silent for a few moments; Tony tried to process what Gibbs had said, Gibbs was on edge having not shared this information freely before now and to someone he'd only known maybe a couple of months. Tony also wondered if this had something to do with the look he had seen before and cursed himself for being tactless.

"What do you mean, you weren't given that choice?" Tony's voice was sad of questioning, with no hint of anger anymore. "Who was it?"

Gibbs knew that Tony wouldn't use anything like this against him but he was still nervous about sharing something that he hadn't even told Abby or even Ducky. "My wife and daughter." Gibbs looked up to see Tony's reaction and saw that it was only questioning but he also thought he'd seen a small flinch at the word daughter, but if he was going to do this he needed to carry on, he could ask more questions later. Gibbs respected that Tony stayed silent. "They saw something they weren't meant to see and they were killed for it. I was overseas and not able to protect them." Gibbs stopped and looked down for a moment, trying to gather himself up again before looking up.

The understanding look that was shared between the two agents after the confession meant more to Gibbs than the usual _'I'm sorry for your loss'_ that he usually got off people. Gibbs was surprised when Tony asked a question and even more so at the one he did ask.

"Did you get the people that did it?"

Gibbs gave him a look as if to say _'ya think'_, they both smiled at the silent conversation. Maybe they were getting better at communication after all.

Tony couldn't believe that Gibbs had shared something like that, and with him, someone he'd know for only a few months, maybe if he stuck round long enough this time this could be the job and the boss he could stay longer than two years for. They had reached some kind of understanding in the past few hours and the weight that had settled on Tony's shoulders seemed to be lifting, even if only a little.

As silence reverberated again in the room both men looked towards the women in the bed. Light was beginning to pop up from the window; they had spent the whole night in the hospital and not even noticed. Tony felt bad for having forgotten about the case and spoke up.

"What's going to happen with the case?" Tony asked as he rubbed his arm a little.

It didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs but he answered all the same. "I had other agents take him to headquarters, apparently he confessed the whole thing before he even got there. Now it's just a case of collecting the evidence to build a solid case against him."

"Did he say why he did it?"

Gibbs shook his head solemnly, that was the one question they hadn't gotten an answer to. He saw Tony look towards Elise, his eyes suspiciously shiny but let it go, he too couldn't fathom why he would have killed one wife never mind have two separate lives, what mattered is that they had him and he would pay for it.

TBC

_Well I think the next chapter is going to be the last one but don't hold me to that, I already have an idea for a sequel, woop please enjoy!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Sorry about the immense wait for this chapter, i moved house and was sorting uni out lol. Now this is the last chapter of this story but like i said in the last chapter i do have an idea that is linked to this story set in around season 1 I just need to work the details out. Enjoy this last chapter ! _

**Chapter 11 **

Looking over to his unusually silent agent, Gibbs wondered why this responsibility was his to bear and not Elise's family. The choice was a hard one to make for anyone and he decided to ask so that maybe he could save his Agent from that particular pain.

"How come her parents aren't here to make the decision?" For a moment he thought Tony wasn't going to answer and was surprised when the younger man smiled an odd smile.

"I was wondering when you'd figure that out," Tony responded calmly, "she changed her next of Kin information once we had a date set for the wedding, said she it made the whole thing even more real." The fond look that crossed Tony's face remembering the memory made Gibbs' chest tighten in sorrow.

Images of decorations and places for the reception and honeymoon littered Tony's mind and how she would smile with that extra sparkle when she absolutely loved something they saw. Tony sighed. "We had everything sorted out except the invitations, my job, but didn't know who invite." Tony's look turned cheerless again, he moved his injured arm and hissed. This prompted Gibbs to walk over to his agent, pull him up by his uninjured arm and drag him out of the room.

"Come on, let's get that arm looked at. You don't have to decide anything right now." When Tony stopped, Gibbs could feel the pull his Agent had to this room.

"It was my fault; I shouldn't have left her." Tony whispered and looked to the ground, ashamed.

It had never crossed Gibbs' mind that Tony could possibly blame himself for something that seemed so rare and as out of anyone's control as possible. "Tony, you didn't do this." Gibbs' view on the matter was firm and unwavering.

"But.." Tony started.

"No, Tony, listen to me, you didn't do this." Tony nodded but looked like he still wanted to argue.

Sitting him back down, Gibbs asked him why he thought it had been his fault.

"I'd promised that we'd go away for a weekend last month, we went but half way through I'd had to leave because we caught that double murder case, we were just going to spend the weekend in the hotel or hiking, after I had left she decided to stay the rest of the weekend and go swimming like we had planned in one of the lake near the hotel. A CDC scientist that was called after they figured out what it was said the amoeba likes warm water and that must have been where she picked it up. If I would have stayed I might have..."

"Might have what?" Gibbs cut in feeling a little angry at what he'd thought Tony was about to say.

Tony sensed the anger and fell silent, looking at the floor again and stood up needing some space between him and what he was thinking about. As he reached the door he swayed a little and hoped that Gibbs hadn't noticed. To his dismay it had been noticed.

"When was the last time you ate anything, DiNozzo?" Gibbs wondered as he held on to Tony waiting for him to become steady again.

"Erm, I don't remember." Tony shrugged.

An hour or so later, Tony's arm was re-stitched and re-bandaged and they were sitting quietly in thought in the hospital canteen, the late night had turned into morning now and the hospital was getting busier. The sun sparkled through the blinds creating a strange glow about the room. Pots and pans clattered in the background as breakfast was continuing to be served. Tony was thoughtful and kept looking up at Gibbs as if wanting to ask him something but just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"There something on your mind, Tony?" Gibbs asked after Tony looked up again nervously.

The three words next spoken by the younger man held a multitude of questions he so desperately wanted to hear the answers to but didn't expect them. "Will you stay?"

Gibbs stopped drinking his coffee for a moment to search Tony's expression. It held a weariness deep enough to scar anyone that looked too long and a myriad of other emotions fighting for control over the others. He knew exactly what Tony was asking of him but he needed to be sure that Tony wanted this as well.

"Are you sure?" He watched the struggle but Gibbs saw the moment that told him how very serious Tony was about this.

"It's been long enough." And the silent 'I know I need to let go' was heard as well. The knowing and the wanting to let go was a different issue completely though.

"I'll stay." Gibbs' answer was firm and strong.

All seemed silent again for a few moments while the two men mulled over what was going to be done today and what had occurred previously over the past few days.

Tony rose out of his seat more cautiously then necessary but Gibbs didn't comment knowing the younger man would be aching as he was after being forced to the ground by Tony. "I just need to make a phone call." He stated though he seemed lost in thought as if thinking of too much all at once.

Gibbs nodded in silent support and allowed the younger man to walk away to make the phone call he knew he was dreading. But her parents had the right to be there more so than even he did.

Knowing that Tony had yet to replace his cell he knew that he'd probably gone to find a hospital one while he also tried to gather himself for what needed to be done. Gibbs himself took out his cell and decided to call Ducky.

"Ah, Jethro, I hope you are keeping that young man out of trouble." Gibbs' lips turned up into what may be construed as a smile for him at the friendly tone.

"I need ya to do me a favour, Duck." Gibbs explained what he needed him to do without revealing why. He didn't think it would be a good idea to be spilling the kid's secrets if it wasn't necessary, he could do it when and if he wanted. After finishing his phone call Gibbs went in search of Tony to see if he'd done what he'd needed to.

x-X-x

He found Tony hovering somewhat nervously outside of Elise's room. Gibbs found it strange that he'd be nervous but when Tony noticed his approach his expression was one of a tired neutrality and he knew he wouldn't get the answer he wanted and didn't have the heart to try pushing for it.

As Gibbs got closer he realised that there was a small group of people in the room his Agent was waiting outside of.

"Her family." Tony answered Gibbs' questioning expression.

"You have every right to be there too." Gibbs stated without censure, it wasn't his agent's fault even if Tony did still believe that he didn't deserve to be there now because he thought it was. "Come on, Tony" Gibbs said as he pushed the door open.

For a moment, Tony thought about turning back and running away, but in that same moment he knew that Gibbs would be there and that he had the only support he wanted right now.

Gibbs could feel the tension as soon as he entered with Tony in toe and wondering just what had happened between Tony and Elise's family.

"The Doctor is on his way." Tony spoke out into the relative silence of the room, but it was a tone that Gibbs knew had been put into practice for far too long. Polite to anyone but Gibbs who knew that it was forced. Had Elise's family already had words with his Agent? For some reason he didn't think those words had been consoling or even marginally nice ones either. This was further confirmed by Tony trying to look everywhere but meet their eyes.

"Finally made the decision then did you?" The younger of the two men of Elise's family sneered. Gibbs assumed by the looks that he was her brother and the other two people in the room were her mother and father. Gibbs saw the internal flinch in Tony's expression, but before he could say anything about it a Doctor entered the room.

"Does everyone agree to stop the life support?" The Doctor asked sympathetically to both parties.

A part of Tony wanted never to let go, but the stronger part of him didn't want her to suffer any longer, life support was no quality of life and not something she would of wanted to stay on indefinitely.

Both parties nodded their heads in the affirmative.

The Doctor then reached over to stop the machines keeping Elise alive, the cardiac monitor was still attached and beeped steadily slower and slower.

The light outside seemed to dim as if in union with the machines, even though it had been light out, clouds covered the sky and the gloomy sadness seeped into the room. Encasing the hearts of those present in the unbearably pure white room, it wasn't meant to be the colour of death but of a life together.

Elise's mother had tears stumbling down her face; both men with her looked sad but refused to cry and stood strong by her side.

Gibbs placed his hand lightly onto Tony's slightly shaking shoulder, knowing that the younger man was trying not to show his sorrow, as the beeps slowed down and agonisingly stopped.

And Tony knew that Gibbs would be there now and in the future.

**The End **

_Hope you all liked the end, please let me know, I worked hard to try and get this right and i'm sure i succeeded that well._


End file.
